Promises and Beginings

Li Shang made an entrance through the door of the Fa Home. He recalled the first time he had been there three years ago. Mulan had just saved China and his life twice, and the emperor had suggested he should court her. Both of them were younger back then, naïve and inexperienced. Despite the circumstances had changed, this time, Li Shang had exactly the same feeling in the pit of his stomach.  As proud and courageous warrior he was, the young General felt nervous, just like he had been the first time he had been there.  He was aware that his palms were sweaty. Just like three years ago, in his mind he had practiced what he would say to Mulan, although this time his intention was to apologize for his dreadful attitude during the past month, and promise he would make an effort to change. And of course, he would beg her to come home with him.

As he made his way to the front of the house, what he had feared came true. He had hoped Mulan would receive him so he wouldn’t have to explain to her family the reason why he was there. Although by now they probably knew everything that had gone on between them.  To his displeasure, Fa Zhou received him. And suddenly his mind went blank. All what he thought he would say to Mulan had disappeared. He was intimidated by the elder man, only because he knew he had done wrong, and he wouldn’t be surprised if the man decided to kick him out after what he had said and done to his daughter. He felt so ashamed

How should he start explaining her father, the reasons why he had done what he had done to her?

Shang swallowed hard and mustered all the courage he could. But words could not come out of his mouth. He made a polite reverence to salute the elder man.

“Li Shang,” Fa Zhou began, “it was about time you came here.”

Avoiding the elder man’s gaze, Shang attempted to explain himself. “I came to…Mulan…is she here? I need to talk to her.”

“I’m afraid it is not possible at this moment,” answerer Fa Zhou firmly.

Shang turned to Mulan’s father bewildered. “Sir, please I need to apologize.”

“Not now, she is giving birth to your child. “he said coldly.

Shang’s serious expression suddenly brightened up. The moment had come. Nevertheless, he regained his composed expression.

“Please let me see how she’s doing.”


“They won’t allow you in there,” Fa Zhou said matter of factly, “But I guess it won’t hurt to let her know you are here.”

“Thank you sir.”

Shang walked towards Mulan’s room. The more he approached, the louder he could hear Mulan’s screams of pain. At last, he reached the door of her room, he took a step inside, but then backed away. It had been a month since he had seen her for the last time, and he had been an idiot with her. He sighed. Mulan had forgiven him before, he hoped this time it wouldn’t be any different.

Ashamed of the way he had treated Mulan, Shang entered the room with his head looking down. He saw the midwife helping Mulan, and her grandmother and mother next to her holding her hand. He saw Mulan’s face red from the labor, and tiny drops of sweat between her eyebrows. Once Fa Li noticed Shang’s presence she informed her daughter immediately. Mulan raised her eyes to meet Shang’s.

He opened his mouth, but words did not come out.

“What the hell are you doing here?” was Mulan’s first question.

Fa Li and Grandmother Fa, left the room to give them privacy.

Shang stood next to Mulan’s bedside, and knelt. “I came to apologize.”

“Shang, this is not exactly the best moment,” Mulan let out a scream in pain.

Shang held her hand and she squeezed it so hard he feared she would break his bones.

“It’s alright. I’m here with you,” said Shang and gently caressed her hand.

Mulan snatched her hand away from his. “It’s your fault in the first place this is happening!” She let out another scream.

“Does it hurt that much?”

Mulan glared at him.

The midwife interrupted the couple. “Mulan you need to push harder.”

She nodded and turned to Shang. “I will never let you touch me again!”

“You’re kidding me right?”

Perhaps he shouldn’t have said that. Mulan reached out for his collar and pulled him closer to face him. “I’m damn serious. You will never lay your hands on me.”


The midwife interfered, “Sir, I suggest you go outside your presence here is not helping much.”

“But, I want to help.”

“You heard the woman Shang. Get out!”

Sadly, Shang did as Mulan had commanded him to do. Fa Li and the elder lady entered the room. Shang decided he would sit next to the door and wait, hoping Mulan would change her mind and let him be useful to her. He wanted to be by her side, no matter how hard she’d squeeze his hand.

Once again, Mulan’s scream in pain filled the air.

Shang stomped his fist on the ground in anger. If only he could do something to make her feel less pain. Being a man in this case was completely useless.

Moments later, Fa Zhou found his son in law sitting on the ground next to the door.

“Son,” the elder man called out, “we need to talk.”

That moment, Shang wished more than before to be with Mulan. He would be left alone with Fa Zhou for the first time in a very long time. Resigned, he got on his feet. Sooner or later he had to face him. Trying not to appear intimidated, Shang followed the elder man outside the house into the gardens.

Fa Zhou took a sit on the stone bench under the magnolia tree. Shang remained standing up walking back and forth nervously. He was worried about Mulan and his child, for he knew perfectly not all child deliveries turned out successful back then.

“I remember when Mulan was born,” the elder man began. “My ancestors knew how unprepared I was for the task of being a father. I was young back then, and unwise. I wanted to have a son I could pass on my knowledge and would carry the Fa name for many generations. I was actually disappointed when I first learned my firstborn had been a girl.”

Shang could not hide his surprise. Among the reasons why he admired Fa Zhou, was that he was an excellent father, probably the best father figure he had ever known of.
The young general took a seat next to his father-in-law to listen attentively.

“She was born before it was expected. I was so worried she wouldn’t make it. But she did. I was worried I would not be a good father. Then I was called to serve in the army. She was barely a year old. I did not see her taking her first steps. I spent months serving, fighting off the Huns, until I got wounded. I was sent home. For months I remained on bed grieving over the fact I was useless to my country, my leg would never be the same. Sometimes I considered it would have been better to die in the battlefield. I barely spoke to my wife back then. But there was someone who loved me, and who did not care about my helpless condition. Mulan was two years then, and all she wanted to do was to play. She would sneak into my room and call out for me, and climb to my bed and embrace me. no matter how many times I told her not to. Until I realized it was not her fault what happened to me, and I had no right to be cold to my daughter. And one day, I decided to go and play with her. Mulan has been the best thing that happened in my life. Stubborn as she is, she has brought honor to this family beyond what was expected from her. She has a noble heart, and courage. I understand how you must be feeling. You are young, you still have a long way ahead for you.”

“Sir, I am deeply sorry for what I said to your daughter. I was not thinking clearly. I was so angry at my current condition, and it scared me to see how prepared she was to have this child, and how time was just slipping from my hands. And then I panicked when I realized I was becoming my own father, and I couldn’t help it.”


“We all make mistakes, but as long as we are alive there’s always a way to redeem ourselves.”

“Do you think she’ll ever forgive me?”

“She will certainly forgive you. And you will soon find another reason to annoy her.”

“Sir?”

“That’s how it works. Couples disagree with each other, but the important thing is to learn to overcome those disagreements together and find a solution that will favor the both of you, and now your child, you need to do what is best for him… or her.”

“I just thought be more prepared to raise a child. Now that I think of it. . . I know nothing. I just don’t want to be like my father was with me. I don’t want to be distant with him. I don’t want him to ”

“No father is prepared when their first child is born. The only way there is for you to learn is by becoming one. Children they teach us lessons.”

“Sir, but Mulan, I first she was even more scared about having a child than I was. But the last four months I noticed she knows what she is doing, and she talks to the baby, and she knows.”

“Last week she got scared. My daughter is not exactly the crying kind, but I saw her weeping last week. She was probably just as you were. I guess she probably tries to be strong when she’s around you, but she is just as scared as you are right now. She needs you as much as you need her.”


“I just hope I can be a good father to our child. And a better husband to Mulan.”

“You will be son. You are a good man, you just need to let go off the past and build a better future.”

Mulan’s scream reached their ears. Then it all went silent. Shang turned to the elder man concerned

A pink flower landed on Shang’s lap, and at the same moment a child’s cries were heard.

Relieved, Shang looked up at the tree from which the flower had fallen. “Congratulations, son. You are now a father.” Fa Zhou patted Shang’s back affectionately.

Shang nodded and took the flower in his hand.

“Go to her. Now is the moment to apologize and to start all over.”


When he entered the room. He found Mulan holding the baby in her arms. He stood there for a moment silently contemplating them.

“hey little one,” the new mother whispered lovingly at her child.

Mulan raised her head and spotted her husband in the room.

For a moment, their eyes locked across the room silently. Shang did not know what to say. He felt like the biggest jerk in the planet.

“I brought a Magnolia that fell from a tree, it reminded me of you.”

Shang walked towards the bed, and tenderly placed the Magnolia behind Mulan’s ear.

“Thank you, I guess.”

Another moment of awkward silence reigned between them.

“So, this is our child.”

Mulan nodded.

“We had a daughter.”

Shang’s features suddenly brightened. “A daughter? That’s wonderful.”

“Would you like to hold her?”

“I shouldn’t. She’s too little. I couldn’t, she could fall ”

“Nonsense, you are her father.”

Mulan made some space on the bed next to her and patted the spot so he would sit there.

“Just careful with the head.”

She could see his hands were trembling. Mulan placed the baby in her father’s arms. He cradled her protectively.

“She is so tiny.” He stared at his daughter lovingly. “She is perfect.” He touched the baby’s forehead gently, and the same moment the baby stretched her little arm. “Look at those tiny fingers. Mulan she has your eyes…
And then the baby’s hand clung to her father’s index finger. Shang had not recalled a moment he felt this way. He felt the weight of responsibility for this girl combined with an immense amount of joy. He became aware that his eyes had gone watery, and a tear rolled down his face.

“It seems she will be pretty tight to her Baba.”

Shang smiled. “I love her so much, and I swear I will take care of her.” He turned his gaze on Mulan. “And you.”

Mulan sighed. “I thought you were not coming here.”

“I guess I needed time to clear my head, but I always knew I’d come after you. Never forget that I will always come after you, no matter what.”

Mulan placed her hand on Shang’s shoulder.

“I have to admit I got scared of becoming a father, but now I look into her eyes, I know I will do my best.”

“Shang, I think you’d make a great father.”

“Thank you Mulan. That means a lot coming from you. And thank you for carrying her inside of you all these months, and for the hard work a few moments ago.”

“It was worth it.”

“You think we can have another one?”

“Don’t start. If you want another child you can get another wife or a mistress,” Mulan said in a playful tone, “I mean I love this girl, but she put me through hell a few moments ago.”

“Don’t say that. I wouldn’t even dare think of it. I can only think of making love to you.”

“Are you sure?”

“I guess I’ve never been as sure of something as I am about my feelings for you. I love you deeply. I would any day die to protect you, and I would do whatever it takes for you to forgive me.”

Mulan sighed pensively. Truly she had been hurt the past days by his attitude, but she had never stopped loving him. “I had already forgiven you.”

“Sometimes I think I don’t deserve so much kindness.”

“Shang, don’t be silly. It’s you Shang, you’re a great man, and I love you for that.”

“Thanks for believing in me.”

The baby began to cry softly.  “I think she wants to go with her mother.”

“She is probably hungry or something,” said Mulan unsure of what she should do now.
Shang lovingly kissed his daughters forehead, and placed her in her mother’s arms, but the child did not let go the grip of her father’s finger. He made no attempt to release himself from such an extraordinary hold. Shang leaned over to kiss his wife’s forehead lovingly, and then planted a soft kiss on her lips.

“She’s as beautiful as you are.”

“She’s also a good kicker,” said Mulan.

“Just like her mother,” completed Shang.